Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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