Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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