i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
