My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize