Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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