Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
