I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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