Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
