That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
