Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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