So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
