he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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