just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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