My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
