Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
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