So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
