So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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