I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
