Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
