just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
