You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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