Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize