i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
