i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
