Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
