Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize