See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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