woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
