9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
