Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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