a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
do nipples grow back?
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