Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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