so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
