its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
