i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
