Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
