oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
