You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize