I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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