You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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