stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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