tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize