the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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