Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just invented taco cereal.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
