Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
