I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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