Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize