So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
