we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
