...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize