I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
