Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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