the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
