this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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