Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
