I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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