Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
