And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
