dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
