How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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