I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
