make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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