I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dignity is for republicans.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
