the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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