I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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