It's Friday. Sex?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
