last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize