I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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