hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
