don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
