your room smells of hookers.
And success
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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