i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
