i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
